Uh-Oh. My Son is Not Like the Other Boys.
How fear kept me from loving my non-binary gay child
by Hanne M Larson
Author’s Note
I’m very aware as I write that this is one moment in time, and what I write is from my current perspective. If I had written this book one year ago my perspective would have been quite different. And if I had written it five years ago these pages would not have been recognizable to me. So, if you read this a year from now or five, I’m certain I will not be in the same place as I am today.
I am grateful that I continue to learn and unlearn, and hope to have the courage to continue the journey of coming to see what I have not yet seen.
In order to protect the privacy of all who I write about, I have changed the names of everyone except my husband, Scott, and myself.
Chapters
Introduction
Chapter One. He Loves Pretty Things.
Chapter Two. He's Not Like the Other Boys.
Chapter Three. I Just Need You to be Okay.
Chapter Four. Oh Good, He's NOT Gay.
Chapter Five. It's Not My Fault, Right?
Chapter Six. Missions.
Chapter Seven. Oh, No...He IS Gay.
Chapter Eight. Losing, and Gaining, My Son.
Chapter Nine. A Redo.
Chapter Ten. Full Circle.
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
First and foremost, thank you to Jamie for prompting me to share these memories by saying: “You have to share this with other moms!” Your courage and love have taught me so much.
Thank you to my daughter for listening when I felt discouraged and for knowing exactly how to encourage me along the way. You seemingly never grew tired of saying, “Okay, I’ll read that,” or “I’ll listen to it,” and you gave me such valuable feedback. I’m grateful that you know me so well!
Without my husband Scott this would never be a finished project. The hours and hours spent reading and re-reading, correcting grammar, and editing, and willingness to always look at it one more time. Your getting-it-done drive was at times irritating, but exactly what I needed. Thank you for your patience and encouragement, and for telling me that you’re proud of me.
To my dear friend Barbara who literally has walked this journey with me since Jamie was very young. I don’t know what I would have done without your support, encouragement and understanding. From believing in the importance of this project to the hours spent editing, designing and creating this website. You have done an amazing job. I’m so thankful to be your friend!